See, growing up I was a healthy Muppet-head.  Loved them.  Still love them.  Sad that they fell into shambles in the past decade.  But, recently, I’ve seen proof that they’re getting better.  It started with the recent holiday special A Muppets Christmas: Letter to Santa which really reminded me of the classic Muppets more than anything has since, well, Jim Henson left us.

Then came the fantastic YouTube videos.  Very good, very funny, and all perfectly Muppet.

Now comes the return to film.  Spearheaded by fellow Muppet-head Jason Segel and staring my not-so-secret crush Amy Adams, this movie just resonates a true return to the wonderful Muppets I was scared we’d lost.  I can not WAIT to see this film.

Although I will have to, since it’s going to release on Thanksgiving and I probably won’t be able to find any time to see it until that Monday.

But, whatever, it’s still Muppets!!

So, this month I’ll be posting some YouTube videos and sharing some awesome Muppet stuff with you on Mondays.  Not super original, but hopefully fun. To start off with I figured we should post up the newest trailer, which really points out just how… um… foreign the Muppets might be to some people.

Anyway, let’s start where everything ended last: the big press conferences.  The only conference left was Nintendo.  It’s the 25th Anniversary of Zelda, so they started off with that.  There’s a new Wii game coming out – but I’m almost willing to guarantee it won’t make it out this year.  Still, if you wanted a re-release of any other old Zelda games it’ll be a good year for you.

The other big part of Nintendo was the new system.  It’s a HD system with a controller that has a large monitor slash touchpad built into the controller.  You can play your games on a big screen or on the controller.  It is NOT a tablet.  All the stuff that you can do in the controller’s monitor is powered by the system.  You can’t pick up the controller, fly to Europe and then play your game on the controller screen.  Not possible.  It’s a monitor.  Just to clarify, because it’s really REALLY apparent people at the press conference (aka G4) didn’t get that.

I don’t know much about the WiiWuu, but here’s what I think.  It’s another casual system with the power to be a hardcore system.  It’s gimmicky just like everything else Nintendo has made.  I will not buy one, just as I did not buy a Wii.  If you love Nintendo first party games (Mario, Kirby, Donkey Kong, Zelda, etc) then you have to buy it.  I don’t know when it comes out, how much it’ll cost, or very many specs.  I just know I don’t want it.

That’s a running theme at E3 this year.  I don’t want it.

I’ll be honest:  I went in only wanting a few games.  That is normal.  Typically I find five to ten more games at E3 that I get interested in and eventually want by the end of the year.  This year, I actually LOST interest in games.  The whole week was like a sponge that had a little water in it.  I wanted it to soak up more water and fill up and get fat like it normally does.  Instead, gaming took my sponge and wrung it out dry.   At the end of this week I feel hollow.

I have lost a hobby.

So, lets start with what I was interested in.

Star Wars: The Old Republic.  It looks great, it sounds great, and it always does.  It’s never going to come out.  Ever.  Every year they have a trailer and a new area to demo.  Every year I hope more and more for a release date and they vehemently refuse to tell me as little as what year it’ll release.  Or expect to release.  My only reasonable option is to think it’ll never release.  So I’ve given in to my fear and the darkside and I’ve decided that this game will never release.

Mass Effect 3.  I didn’t get a 360 until ME2 was already out, so I played the two back to back.  Waiting for three has been tough (not as tough as SWTOR) but I managed because I believed in my core that it would be great.  Then the demo showed Shepard behind a gatling gun on a rail style mini-game.  Then I heard a producer say something that made me think all the amazing decisions you made in the first two games will amount to little more then a few cut scenes at the start of the game.  Suddenly, all my faith in this game is gone.  It just doesn’t matter now.  Sure, I’m going to play it… but, honestly?  What’s the point.  I guess just to finish off the story.  I don’t know now.

Uncharted 3 and Batman are the only games that I went in excited about and then left feeling good about still.  Yay.

The newest Elder Scrolls game Skyrim looks amazing, but to be honest I always buy that series and play it for a day and think “Whoa… to much, to big, to intense, to slow, to lost.  Whew.”  And let out a long sigh and put the game down forever.  I’m sure this one will be the same.

The surprise game is Space Marine.  Based on the Warhammer 40k world, it’s a mix of shooter and melee combat that looks intense and feels powerful and for whatever reason got my blood boiling.  I watched a play demo, looked at Rob and said “Hell yeah.”  We’ll see if that sticks when I get around to reading some early reviews.

Final Fantasy 13-2, Tomb Raider, and Gears of War 3 are all interesting looking but I don’t care one way or the other.  Dead Island had an amazing trailer but the game itself looks awful.  Saint’s Row is not my game so I’ll just say “meh.”

Sorry if this is a bit of a downer, but I really didn’t find much to appreciate this year.  In fact, I’m pretty certain this will be the last year I even take time from work to watch E3.  From now on I’ll just watch online so I can skip all the junk I can’t stand.  No Kinect, no WiiWuu, no Vista.  So, basically, a week of video games news will become a half hour trailer.  Yay!

Final score for E3?  D minus.  Woot.

That might sound harsh, but I’m just relating to you what I saw today after watching all that trite filibustering.  Video games (as we currently know them) are dead.  Well, more accurately, they’re on a life support system because no one (else) is willing to admit they’re dead.

Now, before I get to far ahead of myself – let’s recap the day for you.

XBox 360:  The highlight of the show was a little kid saying “fiiiiiiiist buuuuump” after demoing a Kinect game.  In fact, the entire show was about Kinect.  Guess what?  Every single game you think you’d want to play is now designed for Kinect.  There’s now Kinect Recon, Forza Kinect 4, Mass Kinect 3, and every EA sports game in Kinect 12 version.  There will also be some new games, Disneyland Kinect, Minecraft Kinect, and Rome of War Kinect.  Oh!  And Kinect is glad to destroy solid, beloved franchises too!  Namely Star Wars Kinect and Fable Kinect.  Trust me, they both look indescribably horrid.  The best part is that every single Kinect game is essentially Sonic the Hedgehog or Super Monkey Ball except YOU run around the room flailing your arms and crying like a four year old with a dirty diaper on a sugar rush.  It’s not really gaming.  It’s acting stupid while trying to collect coins or mouse ears or not crash your car – all while the game takes pictures of you in all your stupid looking glory and then automatically loads them to Facebook for you, where your friend’s Sims can mock you.

Oh, that brings us to the EA press conference.

Their big announcements were the Sims on Facebook (complete with a disturbing trailer) and a very long demo of Call of Duty: Tank Field 3.  Of course they also had a thirty minute showing of FIFA and their very new “foobowl club” system.  Yes, the guy said it like that.  “Foobowl Club” about fifteen times.  I guess since the NFL is on lockout and probably won’t play this year they had to settle for soccer.  They also took a little time to completely destroy their Need for Speed franchise – but don’t worry, there’s about sixty other, better racing games out there.

And, no, Driver isn’t one of those.  In fact, Driver is one of the worst driving games of all – which is no surprise since it comes from Ubisoft where they solidly believe in killing every good game they ever make with one hundred and twenty sequels within a three year time span.  Their newest dead series is Assassin’s Creed.  Any time you have to add a gatling-gun flamethrower to your stealth game you should know you’re headed in the wrong direction.

Speaking of the wrong direction: good job Sony!!  What in the world will it take to make you guys realize your handheld system isn’t going to sell?  It’s not enough that the PSP fails, and the PSP Go fails, but now you need to waste time and effort on a third installment that is just barely an upgrade?  Ooooh, it has a creepy touchpad and two thumbsticks.  Neato!  Talk about stubborn.  Well, at least you didn’t do something stupid like give exclusive 3G internet rights to AT&T.  Oh… wait, you DID do that?  Brilliant.  No, really, I can’t tell you how proud I was of the audience for booing you when you announced that, you morons.

Why am I so certain that the Playstation Vista or whatever will fail?  Because it’s not a phone.  Yes, a PHONE.  Or a Tablet, though I’m not sure that’ll be able to kill a phone either.  Bottom line:  people already spend hundreds a month on a handheld computer they can’t live without.  A computer that has a phone, texting, the internet, and dozens and dozens of addictive games that only cost like a buck each.  Why does anyone need your stupid ModRacers port when they can play Angry Birds all day?  Answer:  they don’t.  Your PSV is going to fail just like it’s older brothers did.  Face it, Sony, you blew it.

(PS- the reason the DS works is two fold:  unique games only on DS for a reasonable price and because typical DS players are kids.  Sony is trying to capture teens and adults who are already attached to their phones.  Fail.)

So, in summary, after day one we found out that Microsoft just wants you to bounce around your room and not actually play any games.  Sony has no clue where video games are headed and thus have no intention to make any video games  – but they are happy to repackage old games in HD and 3D for you who like to burn money.  Ubisoft is strangling their games into a slow, steady death and EA has decided that their best games (basically anything made by Bioware) should never be released to see the sunlight.

Well, that’s not fair.  It is true that yet another E3 has gone by without any news on my beloved Star Wars: The Old Republic, but I’m no longer surprised as I’ve now retired this game into the category of games like Beyond Good And Evil 2 and The Last Guardian.  You know, games that will never actually exist.  Ever.  Because their creators know those games are too good for our feeble souls to appreciate.

Still, there are lots of games that will be coming out soon enough.  Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Call of Duty: Tank Field 3, Call of Duty: Space Effect 3, Call of Duty: Future Wasteland 3, Call of Duty: Gears of Warfare 3, Call of Duty: Ghost Squad, Call of Duty: EVE Online Shooter, and the most anticipated Call of Duty: Master Chief.

Oh, and also a Catwoman game.

So, there you have it.  The end of video games.  Unless you like Kinect or Call of Duty or the third game of a series.  Then it’s a great year or two for you.  Meh.  Maybe there will be good news tomorrow with Nintendo?  I’m not really holding out hope.  Just saying.

4. Super 8

This isn’t a very unknown unknown.  Here’s what I do know:  this movie will be GREAT.  Here’s the problem. What genre is it?  Every time I see a trailer I get more and more confused.  At first I thought it was a horror movie.  Then it was a sci-fi movie.  Then a family / coming of age type film, then horror again.  Now I think it must be some kind of mesh but that presents it’s own problem.  As badly as I want to see this movie for the sci-fi and buddy film aspect (I’m thinking a new age ET) I’m also not at all interested in seeing a horror movie.  I never watch horror and monster films.  Especially a monster film chasing a bunch of kids around a rural town.  That just doesn’t sit well with me.  So the problem is I don’t know what I’m paying twelve bucks to see… and since the line here makes all the difference I probably won’t see a movie I know is going to be great in a lot of other ways.

3. Conan the Barbarian

Um… I guess it’s about the barbarian and not the comedian?  Who knows.  It’s almost impossible to find anything about this movie.  The teaser is just some smoke and a logo really.  Title does say “the Barbarian” so that’s what I’m going with.  I’ve never really heard of the guy playing Conan and that worries me a bit, and while the director has made some other movies none of them (that I know of) are any good so that makes me nervous.  In the end, this is a movie I’d love to be great but I don’t have ANYTHING to make that kind of bold guess – yet.

2. X-Men: The First Class

Let me start off by saying the X-Men movies are some of the worst hero movies ever made.  Not “the” worst but up there.  This movie is written by the same guy that messed all those movies up, so we’re already off to a bad start.  However, if you watch the trailer you’ll see that this movie is a fresh start.  New actors, new timeline (it’s a prequel) and a cool concept.  I’ve always like the story of Magneto and Professor X being both friends, rivals, and enemies.  The final verdict for me is that I will pay to see this movie, but I’ll be ready to scream in pain the entire time.  Still, if they do this movie right… well, it could be a first class film. (Ayuckyuckyuck.)

1. Green Lantern

Originally, I was going to have this movie on both my good and evil list.  I thought the idea was funny, but it’s best fit is the top of the unknown list.  I’ll run down the pros and cons real fast for you.  Good:  It’s Green Lantern, it’s got Ryan Reynolds, it’s directed by the guy that did the recent Bond movies, and its (mostly) the story of Hal Jordan.  Evil:  Have you seen a trailer?  This looks soooooo bad.   And that is what makes this the ultimate unknown movie.  How can a movie with so many great components in it end up so terrible looking?!  And it’s not just bad CG I’m talking about – and make no qualms about it – that suit looks stupid.  I’ve never seen a picture, an article, or a video that made me think this movie had any chance of being any good.  I have reserved myself to the fact that I will see this movie expecting it to be amazing and I will end up ashamed of myself down to the depths of my soul.  Nothing good will come from this movie, and there’s nothing I can do to stop myself from suffering it.

3.  The Beaver

Mel Gibson plays a man in the midst of a mid life crisis and divorce who, essentially, has a breakdown and ends up finding his sanity through a puppet beaver.  Alright, first things first:  Mel Gibson probably shouldn’t be in a role that swings this close to home.  There.  Got that easy joke out of the way.  So, when I read the brief summary of this movie I thought there was no way it had a chance.  Then I saw the trailer and immediately changed my mind.  I forget with all the drama surrounding Mel Gibson that he can act.  Not just action movie act, but really act.  I honestly think this movie will be great because of his work alone.  However, because of all his off-screen fiascoes and the absurdity of this plot there’s not a lot of hope it will do well.

2. Everything Must Go

Nothing better then a comedian playing a serious role.  I always feel bad too, because some of them can act and I know they want the chance but they rarely get it.  In this movie Will Ferrell plays another man in the midst of a life changing, middle aged crisis.  This is the drama theme of the year I think.  In Everything Must Go, Will and all his possessions get locked out of his house.  He spends the week selling everything in an impromptu lawn sale and re-evaluating his life.  I was drawn to this movie early and none of the trailers have let me down.  Sadly, no one else I talk to seems to have heard of the film and it’ll be out in two weeks.  Not a good sign for what might be a very good movie.

1. Winnie the Pooh

Every time I’ve asked anyone what the Disney animated movie this year is I either hear Cars 2 (wrong) or crickets.  And how can I blame anyone for not knowing?  First, this movie is coming out in the middle of summer instead of Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Unforgivable.  Second, if you’ve seen the trailer and remember it you probably thought what I did at first:  that looks like a straight to DVD release.  But it’s NOT.  It’s a theater release.  It’s classic Pooh, with new stories, and that warm and fuzzy feeling just oozing out of it like honey from one of Rabbit’s honey pots!  (Cause Pooh’s honeypots never have no honey in them.  Silly old bear.)  I’m not going to lie, I’m absolutely bias in this case cause I grew up on Pooh.  The old movies like The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, the old “people in costumes” show Welcome to Pooh Corner, the best Saturday morning cartoon ever The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and even the book as a present one year.  I loved Pooh, and it breaks my heart to  know that he’s going to drift by like a lonely, little black rain cloud.  So sad.

The point is:  I hate these movies.

8. Mr. Popper’s Penguins

Awwww, isn’t that cute?  Jim Carrey with a bunch of wild animals learning tap dancing and becoming friends?  NO.  It’s not cute.  It’s called STOLEN MATERIAL.  Mary Poppins anyone?  Yeah, and let me just add:  Dick Van Dyke is a better dancer too.  Actually, this whole thing is Jim stealing from himself.  Might I remind you of a not-to-funny movie called Ace Ventura: Pet Detective?  Oh snap!  Busted!

7. Bridesmaids

There’s a reason The Hangover is a great movie.  Because everyone can believe a group of guys in Vegas at a Bachelor’s Party could get into that much trouble.  It’s the tall tale that every dude thinks happens but never really did.  Women don’t party like that.  They watch the Royal Wedding.  Alright, that’s not fair, there are some crazy women out there – just look at Jersey Shore.  But, honestly, does anyone anywhere care about a female version of The Hangover?  No.  No one does.

6. The Smurfs

I wasn’t allowed to watch Smurfs as a kid.  Oh, I saw some episodes, but overall my knowledge of little blue weirdos is limited.  Even so I don’t remember them looking like playdough, having an Irish accent, and generally being crass.  What really sucks, is I like Neil Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays.  I want this movie to be good just for their sakes, but there’s no chance it will be.  No chance at all.

5. Cars 2

This is where the list starts to get personal.  Pixar makes amazing movies.  Except for Cars.  That movie was awful.  Now they’re making a second one?  When they could be making something outlandishly brilliant like Newt?  They cancelled Newt?  WHAT?!!  I’ll KILL YOU PIXAR!!  I’LL KILL YOU DEAD YOU SOULLESS MONSTERS!!!!!!!

4. Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.  Obviously the people behind this movie don’t realize 3 things.  Thing 1:  what made the ORIGINAL movie Planet of the Apes work.  Thing 2:  James Franco is one of the most annoying actors to listen to ever.  Thing 3:  Reboots don’t work when they SUCK.  (aka – remake of Planet of the Apes in 2001 was terrible too, why would this be better?)  (It won’t be.)

3. Harry Potter Blah Blah Blah Whatever

Look, I enjoyed the books for a while.  Then book seven came out and I read it and when I finished the last page I calmly stood up and THREW IT ACROSS THE ROOM.  What a terrible, AWFUL, unholy slap in the face to fantasy writing that dribble was.  I vomit a little in my mouth just thinking about it.  Forgiveness is not an option.  And as such, I refuse to further acknowledge this series in any capacity.  I will not read her slop.  I will not watch her movies (even if they are usually better then the books).  I will not even list the actual title of this or any of her works when referencing them.  Just know, I’m glad this blech is finally over.

**********

A pause here to remind you:  the next two movies are vile and evil on a level unforseen in many, MANY years.   It was all but impossible to decide which was worse.  But if I were allowed to add other evil things to this  list, the list would go Harry Potter, Asparagus, Megan Fox, music by Coldplay, the Denver Broncos, these two movies, and then those sticky labels on the top of brand new CDs that never peel off right or easily.  So, basically, around the 15 mark on the top 100 things.  Really, really high.  Okay, now that the setting is made…

1.5  Transformers: The Evil Continues

Hatred.  I just don’t understand why people who obviously don’t know ANYTHING about the Transformers are allowed to make horrible movies about them.  When I was in the second grade, I was always playing “make believe” as Transformers – doing the chook-chook-chook sounds and jagged motions.  I wrote an ‘essay’ in third  grade saying that  Optimus Prime was my hero.  (Yes, my Dad was offended.)   The bottom line is that these robot things are not the Transformers I grew up admiring.  They’re stupid, immature Lego Technic toys that Michael Bay can blow up every two minutes.  “Story?  WHO NEEDS IT!  We’ve got EXPLOSIONS!”  I was literally FORCED to watch the first Transformer movie, and I cried for half an hour after I realized the irreparable damage done to my soul.  I will never watch another of these bile-crusted films again.

1.5 Pirates of the Crapibbean

My own stupid hurts me sometimes.  I went to see the first Pirates movie like an idiot.  I paid money.  I sat in the theater just as excited as everyone else.  Then Johnny Depp started talking.  I don’t remember everything, I just remember at some point, when Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp were sword fighting I groaned as though my gall bladder had just ruptured, stood up, walked out, and swore off the movie forever.  I think I lasted about twenty minutes.  My disgustment of Depp is legendary, but a lot of people don’t realize it was THIS MOVIE that made it so intense.  Before this I just thought little of him.  Now I think a lot of him.  As in “How can I prove he’s actually a Acidic Larva Spawn of Hades here to destroy the mind of all women and children in preparation for Satan’s eventual takeover?”  Because he is.  Anyway, Depp is poison to my ability to watch a movie – and this Jack Sparrow character is only a catalyst to make it worse.  Now they want to give him/them a whole movie?  No.  NO. NO NO NONOOOONONOONONONONOOOOO!!!!   I’d rather bury myself alive – in a bed of cockroaches and cat vomit – then watch this movie.

Ewwww… that made me sick to write, but it was still better then watching either of those last two movies.

So, okay, you know the drill.  Hit that comment button and tell me why I’m wrong.  It won’t offend me.  Trust me on this, I’ve heard it all.  My friends all think I’m insane and stupid and have no clue what I’m talking about.  I hate weird movies… but this is my list so that’s what I hate.  Tomorrow, assuming you come back, I’ll point out some of the lesser-known movies as well as movies that I don’t know how to grade.

Oh, and Mila, call me.  Let’s go catch a GOOD movie.

Today’s list will be the ten movies that I am looking forward to seeing the most.  They are in order from ten to one, with one being the movies I salivate for every time I see the trailer.  The only deciding factor is me, cause I’m the one making the list.  It’s completely based on my tastes and interests, but it’s fun and it gives you guys a good idea of what odd flavors I’m into and why.

So, without further ado…

10. Zookeeper

Silly romantic comedy involving Kevin James and a bunch of the zoo animals voiced by people like Adam Sandler, Nick Nolte, Sylvester Stallone, Jon Favreau, and Judd Apatow.  I’ll be honest, this movie could tank… but, since I’m the only person in the world who liked Paul Blart: Mall Cop I’m pretty sure I’ll like Zookeeper.

9. Bad Teacher

I got tired of Cameron Diaz about ten movies ago.  And that’s why this movie works.  She’s a jerk, she’s obnoxious, she’s the vile main character.  And I love it.  Add to that it’s writers both work on The Office and I’m pretty sure it’ll get some laughs.   Plus, it has GIBBY from iCarly and I can’t get enough of Noah Munck.  Kid’s a riot.

8. 30 Minutes or Less

I will never be able to explain the plot of this.  Just, assume it’s odd and funny.  My only real worry on this movie is that I really don’t like Danny McBride who plays the moronic antagonist.  Still, the trailer reminds me a bit of Pineapple Express.  Actually, that may not be a good thing…

7. Crazy, Stupid, Love

This movie might be brilliant.  It’s an interesting mix of actors and an odd mash of humor and drama.  I’m stoked about this movie. Steve Carell loves this type of mixed lines movie and most of the time he scores a win.

6. Thor

This movie looks great so far, but I’m not a huge Thor fan.  I’m a bit of a Norse mythology buff and I’ve never liked how Marvel slapped that mythos around.  So, I’m going in with a bit of a chip on my shoulder.  That said, if they nail this movie it could be blockbuster of the year.  It’s got a lot of potential.  Can it catch lightning in a bottle?  (HAHAHA…that’s a killer.)

5. Our Idiot Brother

This one is the dark horse of the list.  Totally snuck in at the last possible moment.  Paul Rudd plays an simplistic, overly-naive guy who’s life goes into disarray while he spends time in jail.  Now released, he tries to put his life together while trampling the lives of his three sisters.  Looks like a brilliant comedy.

4. Hangover 2

Hangover was brilliant.  Then they promised a sequel early on.  Then we waited.  Finally it’s here.  The trailer cracks me up.  I’m ready for another insane weekend.

3. Cowboys & Aliens

Cowboys?  AWESOME.  Aliens?  SWEET!  Harrison Ford and James Bond team up?  SOLD!!!  Let’s go to the movies, let’s go to the movies!!

2. Kung Fu Panda 2

I saw the original Kung Fu Panda about 7 times in theaters.  That includes many trips to the “dollar theater” but the point remains:  one of my favorite movies ever.  In terms of pure enjoyment it’s up there with Princess Bride.  I just love it.  So, I hold a LOT of hope for this sequel.  While it’s one of the movies I’m most anticipating, it could also be one of the biggest letdowns ever.  I hope not, but it’s that tiny fear that keeps the Furious Five from being Number One.

1. Captain America

When the Avengers movie series was announced, this was the movie I feared the most.  Would they sell it short and just focus on Cap’s defrosting or would they go for gold and make a golden age WWII movie that creates fist pumping, heart pounding responses from the crowd?  Trailers suggest the later, and now I’m sold.  I wanted this – the origin of Captain America.  Why?  Because it will establish his intense sacrifice and resilience so much more – and it’s those traits that makes Cap one of the greatest heroes ever created.  Why he’s worthy of being Captain America.

Okay, check back tomorrow for the summer movies that terrify me.  Trust me, that’s the list you want to read.  No one will agree with it.  You’ll probably think I’m crazy.  But, hopefully, it’ll make you laugh.

Now, at first I was really confused.  I watched the trailer and thought “that doesn’t look half bad” but the release date was weeks ago.  Never saw a trailer at the theater – in fact I didn’t remember seeing it at the theaters at all.  I figured maybe it was direct to video, so I went to the movie’s website I found in the trailer hoping to see more info about the movie.  Instead of a trailer there was a huge banner that said “Watch the Movie Here.”  That confused me even more, cause who has a movie on a website for free… but, I went ahead and clicked on it.  Sure enough, the whole movie is right there.  Free to watch.

About ten minutes into the movie I wasn’t sure what I was watching.  It had credits, and characters, and everything – but they’d spent about 4-5 minutes talking about the setting.  I know settings are important, but this is a family movie about kids in a neighborhood not Wuthering Heights.  Why all this focus on Castle Hills?  I paused the movie, went back to the movie’s homepage and actually took a moment to LOOK at the page.

So like…DUH!

Castle Hills is an actual place.  It’s a swank community with it’s own homes, parks, shopping centers, golf course, and restaurants.  It’s actually in North Dallas.  Real place, all run by Bright Realty – wait, all run by one realty?  Oooh, I get it now.  This movie is a really, REALLY fancy ad?  UGH?!

I sat puzzling at the paused presentation for perhaps five minutes.  I didn’t want to watch an advertisement.  I wanted to see the movie I saw in the trailer.  The trailer was pretty good!  After a bit of mental debate, I decided to give the movie another ten minutes or so – afterall it IS free, right?

I am SO GLAD I went back to the movie.  Guys, listen, it’s a good movie!  After that first bit with the “this is the awesome place I live in” monologue there really isn’t to much more ad left.  A few bits of dialogue here and there where they remind us just how amazing Castle Hills is, but, for the most part it becomes a regular Disney Channel type family movie.  Group of kids helping an old man find his lost wedding ring, all while getting into mischief and fighting with the older sister.  The director did a good job, the script is pretty solid, they’ve got a real soundtrack, and the kids were fun.  Like I said, I could absolutely see this movie on Disney or ABC Family and I wouldn’t even blink.

And it’s FREE!

Yes, it is a big ad, but let’s be honest – everything has ads now.  Every episode of Chuck features a Subway plug.  Who can forget that over-the-top Kenmore plug in the last Indiana Jones movie?  BARF.  Really, if anything, this Castle Hills movie is normal.  Normal and free.

So, if you like family movies then give it a shot.  I watch way to much of that stuff and I thought it was great.  In fact, I’d buy the blu-ray if they ever released it.  I know it’s not a house but it’s way more in my price range.

The interesting surprise news about Dragon Age 2′s release came in the form of an upcoming webseries created by and starring geek-darling Felicia Day.  For the two of you who don’t know, Felicia has a strong background working on webseries already.  She created, writes, and stars in the internet sensation The Guild and she was one of the stars of Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog back in 2008.  There’s also a ton of other stuff she’s done which validate both her acting career and her endearment to the nerd community, but I’ll talk more on all of that later.

Right now I just want to make sure everyone’s aware of this new project.  The series is called Dragon Age: Redemption, and it’s a six-part webseries created by Felicia and taking place in the realm of Bioware’s Dragon Age – around the same time period as the game Dragon Age 2.  The character is an elven assassin named Tallis, and while I have no proof I’m willing to bet the character was created when Felicia played Dragon Age: Origins.  Just a guess.

What I do know is that Felicia has played Origins and at least gotten started on Dragon Age 2.  She said herself, “I’m a huge Dragon Age fan.  Dragon Age: Redemption allows me to tell a fantasy story in a new way, using a universe I really love.”   That makes me pretty confident Dragon Age is in good hands.

Now it’s very likely that you’ve heard about Redemption already, since it’s gotten press from Bioware’s Official Site as well as the gamer blog Kotaku, Gametrailers TV, and a preview on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” amongst others.   Not to mention I saw the trailer linked about 20 times on Twitter the day it was released.  There’s a lot of hype already, despite limited knowledge.  Heck, there hasn’t even been an official release date past “this summer.”

One thing I’m curious about and don’t know:  is the cast going to be caked in blood after every battle?  Will it be weird to see if they’re not?  Is it weird that I think it might be?  I’m honestly worried that if they’re not just smothered in blood after every fight I’ll not be able to take it serious.   Weird but true.

Still, if you haven’t seen the teaser/trailer I’ve got it here for you just because I don’t want anyone to miss out on vital nerdy information.  The trailer itself doesn’t offer a lot to go on, but it does look like it has a lot of promise.  Plus, since it’s coming from someone with nerd-cred I believe in, I’ve got a lot of hope for a good show!  Whenever more information becomes available I’ll make sure to pass it along.

Now, that’s just a partial list but it’s a good sample.  A couple of those are great, but most are just terrible.  The track record has NOT been good so far.  Not at all.

So every time a new remake is announced I get a little LOT nervous.  If there is one thing I hate HATE HATE with a passion it’s people destroying my good memories with lazy, uncreative, poorly written trash that just uses a brand name and a lot of flashy new computer animation to rake in ill-gotten gain.

Michael Bay is my Satan.  Enough said.

The most recent ‘remake’ goes by the name of Looney Tunes.  A new show is planned for Cartoon Network that plays homage to the old classics, and with it comes the rebirth of the short three-minute films before movies.  Three new shorts involving Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote will grace large screens this year – the first appearing with Cats and Dogs 2 this past weekend.

Now, as much as I’d like to say I have the inside scoop on this I really don’t.  However, I did find out that Jerry Beck over at Cartoon Brew DOES in fact have an inside scoop on the cartoons.  In fact, he’s already seen them all!  You can find his review and some pictures here and a short sample clip was made available which I’ve got for you just below.

Since there’s about zero chance of me going to see Cats and Dogs 2 I’ll just have to wait for one of the other movies to get a real taste of the new cartoons.  Or, if all else fails, I’ll wait for the cartoon show when it gets here.  What I can say is that this little clip made me chuckle, and that’s a good sign.  I don’t know if the whole show can keep me laughing, and Looney Tunes is a BIG icon to live up to.

Still, at least this clip and review are a good start to making me feel like Warner Bros. is going to deliver some quality and not just a piece of Acne junk that’s likely to sling me into the side of a cliff and then blow up.  Leave that stuff to Coyote, thanks.

…. or Michael Bay.