So we’re only a few days away from Wrestlemania 27 now – and heading into the weekend I thought it was time for a preview along with my predictions on what happens.
This is a game my friends and I would always play, and a few of us still do. You just look at the storyline going into a Pay Per View and make your best guess on who wins, why, and then maybe where that leads to next. So, without further ado:
Let’s start with the match I referred to Tuesday: John Cena vs. The Miz for the WWE Championship. What’s important to note in this match is The Rock – who is the host at Wrestlemania this year. Why does he matter? Because every day since he was announced as the host he’s been feuding with John Cena. Cena should be feuding The Miz but instead this match feels like Rock vs. Cena. So, what I think will happen is that The Miz will actually win this match, but then Rock and Cena will “buddy up” and beat Miz down after the match.
Next up, the pointless main event: Undertaker vs. Triple H. Here’s three reasons this match doesn’t actually matter: first – they’ve already had a Wrestlemania match back in 2001 so this isn’t a new opponent. Second, these guys are two of the most ‘not around at all lately’ wrestlers on the roster. Trips was gone almost all year in fact! Which leads me to three: this match is pretty much Triple H retiring and giving the Undertaker one more big win under his belt when he goes. The only thing I’m interested in seeing come out of this match is a setup for next year, because I have a suspicion that next year will be Undertaker vs. The Rock – and a good indicator of that will be if they have a meeting of Rock and Taker before or after the match. We’ll see. Anyone, winner for this will be Taker of course.
The tag team belts are a wash and in fact are not even up for grabs. Instead they have The Corre vs Big Show, Kane, Santino, and Kozlov. This match really means nothing, but I’ll go ahead and guess The Corre wins because they have an extra R for no reason.
The women’s match is pretty pointless too. Again, no belt on the l ine. It’s Trish Stratus, John Morrison, and that horrible Snooki thing against Lay-Cool and Dolph Ziggler. Basically, I don’t care who wins and I’ll probably be making a food run during this match. I can’t believe this is a match. Since I expect the WWE to make their celebrities look stupid I’m going to guess Lay-Cool wins this match. Whatever.
Speaking of terrible matches: Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler. They tried to make this match interesting with seventeen months of build up and Stone Cold Steve Austin as the guest referee. Instead it’s just been long and tedious on the way to a match no one wanted to see. King’s never had a Wrestlemania match before, and I can’t fault the WWE for finally giving him one to cap his career. Plus, after the match is over, I’d expect King to retire from announcing. Most likely to make way for Booker T – which is awesome! So, since it’s his ‘crowning’ achievement I’ll give this one to the King.
Rey Mysterio and Cody Rhodes. I’d like this to be a push for Cody Rhodes, and in a way I guess it is, but I have a sinking feeling that Rey will be challenging for the WWE title soon so I have to play it safe and pick Rey to win this one.
Now, this one is fun! Sheamus against Daniel Bryan for the United States belt. I’m going to pick this one for the same reasoning but in reverse: I think Daniel Bryan will be getting a quick push into the main event for the World Title and thus will need to NOT have the United States belt. (Confused yet… wait, I’ll explain in a few minutes.) Anyway, I expect Sheamus to finally start winning some matches starting here.
Randy Orton and CM Punk. This is a simple pick for me. I think Punk is one of the most talented members of the roster. I think Randy Orton is the worst. Yes. The. Worst. So, because the WWE hates me I know that Randy Orton will win this match. In fact, I think he’ll win it and punt CM Punk in the head and Punk will take another four or five months on ‘injured leave.’ It infuriates me, but I know it’s coming. Stupid Randy Orton.
That just leaves Edge and Alberto Del Rio. So, it is in fact Alberto Del Rio’s destiny to win. Also, Christian is back now. Oh, and remember how the tag team belts are NOT on the line? Hmm… interesting. Okay, I’m going to say what I said ten minutes after the Royal Rumble months ago: Alberto Del Rio is the next World Heavyweight Champion.
Overall this is a terrible TERRIBLE card. Not just for a Wrestlemania. In general, this is a terrible card. If you saw this card and didn’t know what Pay Per View you were watching you’d swear it was something stupid like No Way Out. You’d never dream it was Wrestlemania. It’s painful. There are THREE pointless matches people. THREE!! Makes me sick.
The good news is, after a Wrestlemania things in the WWE tend to get shaken up pretty hard. So, here’s where my extra fun post-PPV predictions come into play!
1. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio are the new champs, and they trade shows. Miz goes to Smackdown and Del Rio is on RAW. Del Rio immediately feuds Daniel Bryan and wins. That should be Backlash. Then he’ll have to face off with someone big like Cena and lose. I don’t think he’ll have the RAW belt long. Miz however will have his belt for a while still. The whole reason to move him to Smackdown is to let him face people like Rey, Kane, and Big Show. People who sound like a challenge but are easier to beat then Cena and Orton. This is going to be a real push for The Miz I think.
2. With Del Rio out of the way, Edge and Christian will team up and take down the Corre – starting with the Tag Team titles. It’s the rebirth of EnC and I’m excited. The idea alone totally reeks of awesomeness!!
3. Nexus is dead, and Corre will be gone in a few months thanks to EnC. Stables go bye bye again. At least for a while.
4. John Cena and Randy Orton will continue to make every Monday Night RAW painful to watch.
So, there you go. That’s what I foresee in the future of the WWE. We’ll review it after the show’s done, and see if I’m right. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments!! Enjoy the show!
